St. Me Day is just winding down so what do I decide to do? Finally finish my comic pull list posts! It's been a long time coming so when I finish this I can get back to what really pulls you guys in to read this thing.
Anyway, comics not published by Marvel and DC may not be as popular, but there are some hidden gems among them. I only recently got into these after I started working at a comic store, being more aware of them. Here are the ones I currently read.
Gargoyles published by Slave Labor Graphics: I know what you're thinking. "Gargoyles? That Disney Cartoon from the 90s?" Yep. This is the official continuation of the series. Season Three, if you will. The series starts right after the end of Season Two, and ignores The Goliath Chronicles completely. It's written by Greg Weisman, the creator of the series, and carries on the series as he originally intended. With storylines involving Thailog, The Quarrymen, the Illuminati, and Goliath and Elisa's relationship, this is a must read for any Gargoyles fan. The only thing that annoys me is that the series is bimonthly. I want to read it more often! The first trade was recently released, so I suggest checking it out. As a side note, a spin-off miniseries, Gargoyles: Bad Guys, is also being published. It follows several "bad guys" from the series, like Dingo, Matrix, and others, and is again written by Greg Weisman.
Walking Dead published by Image Comics: For those of you who like zombie stories, this one is for you. Written by Robert Kirkman, it's an ongoing zombie survival horror comic. It follows a group of people in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. What's interesting about it is, the zombies aren't the real threat of the comic. The real danger are the other survivors in this zombie filled world. The book is more about relationships and human emotion than it is about the walking dead, and that's what I like about it. That, and you have NO IDEA what's going to happen next. The writer plans on sticking around for quite a while, so I don't see any end in sight for now. Pick up the first trade, and you'll be hooked. Guaranteed.
Hero by Night published by Platinum Studios: This is a nice superhero title written and illustrated by D J Coffman. It's about a guy whose father makes him the landlord of a down-trodden apartment building, and finds the secret lair of a superhero from long ago. His first idea was to make a fortune selling this old stuff but what he didn't count on was the old hero's arch nemesis still being alive! This title is just good plain fun, and there's just not enough of it in today's comics.
Black Summer published by Avatar Comics: This is a weird but compelling miniseries. What if the biggest superhero in the world finally took matters into his own hands and killed the President of the United States and his Cabinet for crimes against the world? And what happens to those other superheroes he fought with for years? Written by Warren Ellis, it's more than a political commentary, it's balls-out action and thrills.
Megas published by Virgin Comics: This miniseries is written by the guy who directed Terminator 3 and U-571, as part of Virgin Comics' Directors Cut line of comics. What if the founding fathers of the US didn't create a democracy, but instead founded a monarchy? It's an interesting idea, and this series deals with a murder that must be solved in this alternate present. I think what I like most about the series is the strikingly white hair of the Megas, that is, those with power and linked to the monarchy. Look it up, you may be surprised.
Drafted published by Devil's Due Publishing: In this ongoing series written by Mark Powers, the human race is drafted into an interplanetary war between two alien races. Okay, it may sound cheesy, but it's really really good. It's less about the aliens than it is about the relationships drawn between people who are suddenly on even ground again. What happens to a President who no longer has any hold over people? Or a doctor who was cured of cancer only to fight in a deadly war? Or an Israeli forced to fight alongside a Palestinian?
Those are the main independent comics I pick up. I'll occasionally pick up a miniseries or graphic novel, but those are better left for individual posts. What I like about independent comics is that there's a lot of talent there that no one knows about. And If I ever publish my own graphic novel or comic or whatever, it will be through one of those publishers, or my own company. There's good things out there if you look hard enough.
Now that I finally finished my pull list, I can get back to writing about other things. I hope you enjoyed my reasoning into buying the comics I do. And again, if you have any questions about any of these books, feel free to ask me.
Out.
These Tropical-Colored Braces Are Going To Get You So Much Ass
ReplyDeleteBy Dr. Joe Grimaldi
Orthodontist
March 26, 2008 | Issue 44•13
Walking out of this office with braces for the first time can be a difficult ordeal, and I understand you probably feel insecure about how it will affect your appearance. You probably think the best way to go is to pick the colors of your favorite sports team or maybe a nice blue to match your eyes—but you would be making the biggest mistake of your young life. That is why, based on my 25 years of orthodontic experience, I can confidently say that the aqua-blue, green, and purple ligatures I have just applied to your teeth are going to put you eyeball-deep in tail before you know it.
Trust me, nothing, and I mean nothing, gets girls wetter than a guy sporting a mouthful of tropical-colored braces.
Now that you're rocking these awesome Caribbean-inspired rubber bands, you should consider investing in a snorkel, because you're about to be swimming in pussy. The second you walk into that homeroom tomorrow morning and smile that exotic smile of yours, there are going to be so many girls itching to give it up that you're going to have to beat them off with a stick. Your stick.
Take it from me, red and black elastics would have scared the girls away, and green and blue would have made you look like a Dorkus Supremo, but this tropical color combination says that you're cool, laid-back, and ready for some hot, all-night-long action to the intoxicating rhythms of calypso music. Once you get used to flossing after every meal and the occasional mouth sore, the only question will be: Are you prepared for all that poontang? It's going to take all your power not to sneak off to the bleachers during lunch just to get your noodle wet.
The Sixth-Grade Ass King—that's what they're going to call you. But only if you remember to brush after every meal and avoid peanut butter and really hard pretzels.
This is just the beginning. I've always said the brighter the bands and the tighter the archwires, the looser the women. And judging by that underbite of yours, you're going to have years and years of easy tail coming your way—at least for the rest of high school and probably into your sophomore year of college.
And hoo boy, once you hit the college level, it's like a whole new ball game. Not only do universities supply some of the best ass in the game, but tropical-colored braces set a mood that drives college girls completely wild—palm trees, exotic birds, gentle breezes, succulent fruits, and water so blue that it makes chicks want to rip off their clothes and dive right in. And guess what? You're the water. Just make sure you cap off your all-night-sex-fests with a thorough brushing and an oral rinse.
Yes, sir. Nothing gets those college girls humming like orthodontic realignment appliances, and by the looks of your X-rays, you're going to have it all: oral spacers, bite splints, maxillomandibular osteotomy to push back your protruding mandible. If everything stays on schedule you are going to have your jaw wired shut for at least a month when you're 18. But don't mention that to my receptionist Sue—she's a married woman!
Remember, you're only guaranteed to get some if you wear your top-to-bottom rubber bands all the time, and I can tell when you aren't wearing them so don't lie to me.
When I was younger, I would have killed to enjoy the kinds of severe malocclusions you have. But sadly, I never had the opportunity to put tropical-colored—or even neon—elastics in my mouth because my teeth came in pretty straight. I had to wait until I was 19 to lose my virginity. That's not going to be the case for you, Ass King, because tomorrow morning you are going to wake up and your teeth are going to be in so much pain that you'll have to drink your meals for at least three days.† But is that really going to matter if you're lying next to one, two, or even 12 gorgeous women? Hell, with the extreme amounts of ass you'll be getting in the next seven years, what's the point of even keeping track?
Once again, I can't stress enough how important it is not to chew on ice cubes. You could break one of your brackets, which would make your parents very upset. And after you've kept them up until all hours with the moans of the chicks you're banging, the last thing you'll want to do is make them angrier.
I know the next few years of regular tightenings are just going to fly by, but don't think that once you get your braces off your days of being the Ass King are over. That couldn't be further from the truth. Lucky for you, the steady stream of bumpin' uglies will continue well into adulthood, my good boy, because you are going to have to wear the raddest pussy-magnet retainer 24 hours a day, seven days a week for the rest of your life.
A Gentleman Never Discloses Who Sucked Him Off
ReplyDeleteBy Charles Dubno
the ONION May 18, 2005 | Issue 41•20
I must say, the quality of discourse in this country has taken a sharp plunge of late, not only among the ruffians and ne'er-do-wells from whom one expects coarse speech, but among gentlemen of letters and esteem. I have, with my own ears, several times in the past week, heard the elder sons of prominent families introduce into mixed company subjects formerly reserved for private discussion among gentlemen. It pains me even to raise this point, but following a string of recent events, there is no question that the adage bears repeating: A gentleman ought never to disclose who sucked him off.
This needn't mean a gentleman must limit the discussion of his exploits to his journal. If a gentleman has met a young lady and taken her to his digs, it is his right and privilege to tell his friends and coworkers about the encounter. However, it is the mark of a true gentleman to omit his lady friend's name from the discussion of her pussy's tightness.
Why, I had assumed that this custom and others like it were universal and well understood, but as long as I am spelling out the Rules of the Gentleman, allow me to introduce several other equally important but oft-neglected guidelines.
Should a gentleman find himself alone with a lady, he should not simply undo his pants and come in her hole. A gentleman knows that it is good manners to coax his lady friend's heels as far above her head as they will go, to "split the reed," and perhaps to turn his lady over and give it to her "doggy style." A gentleman knows that a true lady enjoys a moderate amount of hair-pulling and ass-grabbing, taking these attentions as marks of affection and virility. However, a gentleman knows where to draw the line. He never lodges his lady friend's head between the couch cushions.
A gentleman occasionally will have more than one guest at his home. Should he see that jealousy is breeding between the two ladies whom he is hosting, a gentleman does not say, "Whoa, ladies, there's enough of me to go around!" The gentleman, valuing decorum and discretion above all else in his paramours, gently guides his guests' heads from his penis and informs them that if they do not act like ladies, he will have to ask them both to leave.
When up to his nuts in a lady's guts, a gentleman knows that it is quite impolite to smoke, talk politics, or take phone calls. Should his cell phone ring, the gentleman says, "Excuse me, I need to take this." He withdraws his penis from his lady friend and keeps his phone conversation brief. When he has completed his call, a gentleman gently reinserts his dick into his lady.
Of course, a gentleman who is not a smoker keeps an ashtray on his balcony for his lady friends who wish to smoke.
It should go without saying that, once he has arranged for a paid lady of the night to meet him at his home, a gentleman does not jerk off several times while awaiting her arrival, in order to "get his money's worth."
A gentleman knows that accidents happen. While it is an unfortunate and boorish behavior that should be kept to a minimum, a gentleman always apologizes to a lady after he mistakenly shoots his load inside of her.
A gentleman never comes in a lady's eyes.
While he knows that a lady gets pleasure out of pleasuring him, and he will occasionally increase the intensity of that pleasure by gentle force, a gentleman will never choke a woman on his cock.
If a gentleman wishes to attend to a lady's pleasure through oral manipulation, no matter what the state of affairs below, he always politely completes his task. A gentleman ought never to fan his hand in the air, grimace and make a show of removing a pubic hair from his teeth, or compare his lady friend's vulva to two strips of partially grilled fajita meat.
A gentleman knows that it is considered good manners to have an unopened toothbrush on hand for his lady friend, in the event that she should like to freshen up after eating his ass.
Breeding needn't amount to priggishness. On the contrary, a gentleman knows that good old-fashioned manners will likely increase his social engagements, once word gets out that he is not one to splooge and tell. But I beg the reader, for the sake of tradition and all that is decent, to remember that a true gentleman does not ever, under any circumstances, go ass to mouth.