Action Pat Needs YOU!

Bring it on!

While sitting on my computer doing my work (at home this time) Action Pat was laying on the table, staring at me. Then I realized, I'm bored with it. Sure, not everyone has an action figure of themselves, and it is quite cool to have one. I impress many a friend and relative with my foray into interactive sculpture. But to me it looks...blah.

I can do a better job. I'm thinking of re-sculpting it, and of course, repainting it. Right now it looks pretty sorry. The paint is rubbing off in places where it looks like I have black fingernails. The upper portion of my pants seem to be skin-tight. And dog-gone it, I need something more than a black t-shirt! I was thinking of putting some sort of logo on the shirt, or design.

So, if you have any suggestions on how I can improve my figure...besides diet and exercise...I'm all ears. Or eyes, in this case. Just one of the many things I need/want to do over spring break.

Bonus Points With the 'Rents

Sorry, no pic this time, since at the time of this posting I'm not at my computer. I'm sitting in video class doing this because I'm bored as all crap while some other students finish working on a project we had over a month to do. Lazy asses.

Anyway, if you want to earn brownie points with your parents, just say the following:

"The only good things to come out of the [insert decade your parents were born in here] were the two of you."

Trust me, you may get 2 pounds of steamed shrimp outta the deal.

Thanks go to my friends for helping make this past St. Me Day the best ever! Corned beef and green beer never tasted so good.

Will someone please reinsert my feeding tube?

Happy St. Me Day

St. Pat

I think the last post supports the theory that when I talk about sex or my sex life, more comments are posted than usual. Sounds like I'll have to meet a demand soon.

Anyway, have a happy St. Me Day (also known as St. Yours Truly Day). If you decide to drink, drink responsibly. Ya friggin' prostitute!

Dream...Girls???

Pardon me....::CRASH::

The video project I was working on these past weeks is finished, above you can see a screen capture of a clip that gave me many laughs. What you can't hear in the picture is me colliding with the metal chair to the left.

But what I really want to talk about is something I've talked about before. Remember dream girl? The dream I had about an unknown girl that was unfortunately, abruptly ended? Well, it happened again. But this time, it happened twice in a week, with a different girl each time, and I wasn't interrupted. Plus, I knew the girls.

To keep anonymonity..anonomousony...whatever, I won't mention who they were. Rest assured they aren't anyone who visits this blog. But the fact that I know them bothers me. It's kinda hard to look at them without bringing to mind the intense imagery I have from these dreams. Are they messages? Omens? Hints to go for them? Am I sexually disturbed? Or do I just need to get some?

I probably need to get some.

A Thinking Man

Meh.

You know what they say: A thinking man is a dangerous man.

Consider me hostile.

::grumble grumble::

Splash page from the unreleased PAT: Deployed

What a crap week. On top of all that snow last week, I got sick. Me. I never get sick, but I did. I thought it was the flu, but it ended up only lasting a day and a half. The day after I was sick I filmed the footage I needed for my video project. Drew was a great sport, despite the freezing cold and the stupid things I made him do over and over again. We had to shoot two days though because of my inability to correctly use the camera the first day. I was tremendously late for work on Friday because I had to return the camera or else pay 25 smackers. Then, of course was drill.

Drill this time involved getting up at the butt crack of dawn (actually 0400) to take a coach bus down to Fort AP Hill in order to requalify with the M16. The bus ride wasn't so bad, though I couldn't sleep. But when we got there, it was snowing. It was nice and shiny up here but where I am?? NOOOO! It had to snow!

Naturally I'm in my cold wet weather gear with Kevlar helmet and LBV with canteen and ammo, ending up having to re-zero my weapon to accomidate for the extra crap I was wearing. Only took 12 rounds but I'd rather do it in 6. Still snowing by the way.

After that I had to wait for everyone else in the company to zero, which took a while. I ended up sitting on the bus watching a bootleg copy of Are We There Yet? with the other completed soldiers. When the time came to move to the qualification range, the bus driver got the bus stuck in an exclamation of "FUCK!!"

Getting on one of the other buses, some of us headed to the Qual range. I was in the first line to fire, assigned to lane 16. I set up my foxhole and aimed downrange.

Now, a typical M16 qualification range is 300 meters. There are pop-up targets placed at 50 meter intervals. You have 40 targets to shoot as they pop up, and you need at least 23 to qualify. You shoot at 20 standing in a foxhole and 20 while in a prone position. I usually shoot 35.

But keep in mind it is snowing...heavily. I COULD NOT SEE PAST 150 METERS. Visibility was limited. The targets I COULD see were covered in snow, making them nearly impossible to pinpoint. The only way I could see most of them was to recognize the movement of the targets. I didn't even attempt to shoot at any targets beyond 150 meters.

Coming off the firing line, disgusted, I noticed only 3 of the 16 in the line had qualified. I was one of them, qualifying with the bare mininum, 23. Hey, at least I qualified on the first try. In limited visibility at that.

We left the range at 1830, watching a bootleg copy of Assault on Precinct 13, and returned to base at 2015. But the trucks and Humvees carrying our supplies were still on the road. We had to wait until they got back, then offload the weapons and gear. When final formation rolled around, it was 2145. That's nearly a 17 hour day.

Thank Darwin I stayed in a hotel! Didn't have to drive home.

On Sunday we cleaned our weapons, covered in sand and dirt and carbon from the previous day of abuse. I cleaned my rifle as I always do, getting in every nook, cranny, and orifice I could find. I know I usually do a thorough job because my weapon never jams. But for some reason the Chief was being anal about it, inspecting every weapon thoroughly for dirt, grease, anything black, before returning it to the cage. Not one of us got through, not even me and my pristine rifle.

I cleaned everything again, took it back, but this time, Sgt. Bright was there, checking weapons. He found a nook in my rifle that I cleaned, but apparently not enough. After lunch, I cleaned the area in question, about a half-inch diameter circle, for 30 minutes. Took it to him, and taking a white pipe cleaner, proved me wrong again. I give up and admit to myself I'm going to be cleaning this weapon until the end of the day, so I did. That was drill for this month, and another crappy week finished.

It's About Time

Yesss!

Morgan Freeman won an Oscar! My favorite actor finally got what he deserved.

From The Shawshank Redemption to Million Dollar Baby, Glory to Nurse Betty, Kiss the Girls to Along Came a Spider, Deep Impact to Bruce Almighty, I've always enjoyed his work.

The next film he's in is Batman Begins, and I can not WAIT for that!

The Search...for a Search!

That's what I call a catfish. Tiger shark, perhaps?

Mike was telling me how his blog can be found using a search engine with only two words: asshole painter

I was intrigued, tried it on Google, and sure enough, there it was. Naturally I try and look up Super Pat Quest, in quotes to get that exact phrase. The search didn't bring up my blog, but something called Blogshares with a link to my blog. It's some sort of make-believe stock market thing based on the links that I posted. I don't know exactly what it's for.

But why wouldn't my blog show up directly?

In an effort to make my blog search-engine find-able, I'm going to post some phrases one might type in the search box in order to find it. Here goes:

Super Pat Quest
SuperPatQuest
Pat Quest
SuPaQue (that's what the site is called 'round the office)
Funky Fresh
Pineapple Sideburns
Dork Hanging Out
Claymore Face
Tomato Basil Soup

I think that covers everything. If any of you have any suggestions for keywords, post them in the comments.